We have 3 beautiful children. Isabelle, 9, Gabriel, 19 months, and an Angel, Levi. Levi would be 5 this year. We lost him in 2007 when a truck running a red light struck our car. Awhile after my husband and I decided that we wanted more children (before we had felt 2 was enough, though I think sooner or later I would have said otherwise! ;) ). We even discussed adoption! I told my husband I wanted our next child's name to be reminiscent of Levi. Something special.
|Isabelle was a GREAT big sister from the start!|
|Levi at 5 weeks old.|
|Levi, Halloween 2006.|
|Levi, just after his first birthday.|
|Levi really shows his "shy" side here. He was all smiles most of the time, but he was quite and introverted. This was our first night at WDW, in 2007.|
|Our last night in WDW, 2007. We lost him only 8 days later.|
I have very difficult pregnancies, so Gabriel was my last. Between him and Levi I had 2 midterm miscarriages. I nearly gave up, wondering if God didn't want me to have anymore children. Adoption came up again. Soon I was carrying Gabriel, though, and to term, too!
When I became pregnant with my 3rd child, Gabriel, before we knew he was a HE, I had picked the name for a girl, Leila (which reminded me of Levi!) Serenity. Gabriel's middle name is Ian, after the other name we struggled to decide between when we named Levi. I admit, I was a bit scared when we found out our 3rd child would be a boy. I had convinced myself we were having a girl, after all, I KNEW with my first two. I was afraid of what people would think and say, and of how much alike they could be. Other than blond hair and blue eyes, they couldn't be more different!! I love each of my children so very much!!
|Isabelle and I. I am 8 months pregnant with Gabriel here.|
|Time for ANOTHER C- section!!|
|A wonderful sissy!|
If this is where God wants me to stop, I am ok with that. After all, I love my children with all I am and I am blessed for them. I have room in my heart, though. I have been praying and considering, considering and researching, oh! And praying!! Knowing there isn't a rush (unless God says otherwise) and time is on my side.
Through all this time (months), this is what I concluded, thus far, anyway; there is something about a baby being turned over to an orphanage or abandoned....not because she wasn't wanted, but because her mommy desperately wanted her to LIVE! I understand... After my losses, I can empathize and maybe offer hope to a precious little girl. <3
So, while researching, I stumbled on THIS page. When I saw a beautiful little girl and my heart skipped!! And that was just staring into her deep, beautiful eyes!! When I started to read and saw her name I cried. Her name is Serenity. Maybe God is speaking louder than I think! And now, I keep going back to look at her and into those precious eyes! I can't get enough.
|Serenity. This is an older picture, she will be 2 in March.|
MUCH prayer is needed. If we decide (of course, I have to TALK to my husband about it first! lol! And the rest of our family, that I am afraid will judge and why I haven't said anything to them.) to adopt there is a LOT to consider. If Serenity isn't meant to be, but has led me on the right path as a sign, the referral process to adopt from China can take 6 years!!! And cost almost $30,000...which is the major hold-back. I know God will provide if it is they way, but that figure will scare my husband away! So many considerations. Please, I need prayer and a LOT of it. This is a BIG deal. My heart is big, is this the way?