Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Oh wow!! I was emailed back about midnight about Serenity!!

This is what I was told!

 "You may be what Serenity is waiting for. She needs a family that is as compassionate and strong as can be. One that could accept that she may have cp or maybe not. We just don't know. She has low muscle tone and isn't walking yet but we have high hopes a family can step forward and take this leap of faith. If you can do this just fill out the attached pre-application and get it back to me and I'd be thrilled to send you her file."

So I filled out the preapp, barely awake this morning and headed to the gym. I had a small heart to heart with Matt while there and broke this to him, out of the blue. We didn't talk too much.

After a good workout with my husband, I drove to KY to pick up Isabelle from my parents. I occasionally checked my email for word back. On the way home I talked to Isabelle about it. She had a few opinions, like she wanted a GIRL! And she was concerned about the long flight! LOL! Then, 20 minutes before I got home, I saw it!!! I teared up immediately!!! There were attachments and I wanted to look on my PC, so I called my best friend to pass the time faster!!

I finally got home and started getting everything downloaded and opened. Matt was on the phone forever and I wanted to share with him, but I couldn't wait!

I started reading her file and looking at her pictures. The medical jargon in translated English is not too clear for me. I couldn't wait to show Matt her picture, though!!

While I waited for him to get off the phone, I started asking for some help from some friends. I hope they can help! From the report last July it sounds like she is pretty well caught up with her peers. I am not sure of the risk of Cerebral Palsy, here.

I was SO excited when Matt was finally able to look other the pictures and file with me!! I asked him, with a lump in my throat, trying to hold back tears, "Isn't she beautiful?" I gave him a little time to read and absorb, though I did spring it out of the blue!

Finally, I asked him, "Do I dismiss this or keep praying and researching for help?" He isn't sure what to say, I can tell. He said that he worries about the expense of the adoption as well as medical expenses and raising a handicapped child. Then he says, it would be nice to open our home, I wish we had more space for 3 or 4. And several other if, ands, and buts.

I feel overall, he was saying I don't know if we can, but then he would say, but later I might feel like we could have.

Help!! Please!! Keep praying!! I think I recognized her as my daughter last night, but I am afraid to admit that to anyone, because my heart has been broken so much already. I love her, my heart swells thinking about what her sweet smile must look like, just as it does picturing my other babies doing the same.

Can we do this? Is this God's will?

Any experience in CP or international adoptions? I need help! I don't understand CP enough. Funding is also a BIGGIE!

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers- xxx- Alicia

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